I really don’t know why the movies like to vainly depict depression as a breakup and some beautiful girl sitting on the couch eating chunky monkey ice cream , and reminiscing these physical little moments shell miss with her signifcant other, or the guy immerses himself in lost causes and is just empty but magically gets to his feet somehow.
If we want to be realistic about depression. Its not trendy and beautiful. No one will say oh my god how you cry and desire not to be here at this point in time is something I LOVE . Its not sunsets and feeling down , its not the guy next door who falls in love with you . Its not about everything will get better mantra when you start to just be bright and cheery.
its sitting in the office wondering whats your purpose as your relatives and everyone you know gets married but you cant because youre in abusive relationship.its coming home and telling your family nothing about the rape that took place in freshman year of college maybe even middle school , and trying to be optomstic about being home for the holidays . its reading books you used to love and dont laugh anymore at the part where Marley pulls down the high chair and throws it outside . Its your friends leaving you” because youre too negative .” It about immersing yourself in sometimes bad decisions of surrounding people who dont love you and use you for things just not to feel pain .
its you trying to go about being normal but not ever being able to feel what normal is anymore, its about answering questions when someone asks where do you see yourself and you go ” I don’t know ” . Its about using a hanging rope to end your life or some pills in a bottle , because someone shoved you into the lockers for too long after bearing all this in and youve snapped and you start to think ” maybe there right , maybe i shouldnt be alive right now “. Its about trying to explain how you feel but you cant do it because the english language can only be so limited to the human emotions.
These are real issues they aren’t trends. Its not something people should go hey ill treat this like a joke, they are beautiful souls full of potential losing their will and voice to live to this issue , and the fact you make this a trend isn’t very helpful.
So without further a due,
Here are some tips to help you get better in the process, ( disclaimer , I am not saying this will work for anyone but im hoping it helps )
- Realize, that its happening .
As a person who’s expirenced depression , i realized everyone wants to pretend its not happening . And once you pass the denial you start wishing people would just accept that you do feel that way, and you are expiriencing it .Its a ferris wheel of emotions.It wont be easier , but atleast know you can be honest with yourself . Never tone down how you feel for anything or anyone .
2 . Dont lie.
if anyone asks you if youre okay and if anythings wrong say : ” I am not okay , but its going to get better “” or not really, but its going to be okay eventually ” . If they proceed to ask questions tell them you dont want to discuss it or just leave the conversation there . Sometimes, you dont need to explain yourself to people who you know wont want to understand you .
3. Find like minded people who are going through the same thing present or past ./support each other .
I once was told my best friend that we were more negative together and that we need a break, this hurt my feelings at the time im not going to sugarcoat it. But i realized when i found people struggling with similiar issues to me , they gave more sound advice that puts a struggling person at ease then a person who had not been going through the issue and throws out some ” logical” or ” rational explanations ” .
I started realizing my own feelings are valid ,and it doesnt make me negative to express how i feel or want to discuss it . Thats what makes us living breathing beings . We can correlate to each others diffuculties or even attempt to relate to their struggles .If we cant do that, that says a lot about our character as people.
4. Give yourself time . Make it a self finding time .
Remember hearing how time heals everything? well isnt far from being right on its own . However, use this as time to find what you love, do the small things you always wanted to do , read a book. learn a new dish, speak out loud, get a tattoo you wanted, talk to the kids in your class you never speak with . Rest , sleep , listen to a playlist that relates to your moods, dont force yourself to get over everything, steady is ready remember that.
5. Befriend or put the unlikely people into your life, they change your point of view quite significantly.
This one is the last one , but the ever so special one . All the people who you dont like on first glance , end up being close to you in ways youd never expect would occur sometimes right ? and those people you click with instantly sometimes you lose hold of them and they can grow the farthest . i myself became friends over a fight over an airhead as a child.I found out years later the same qualtity i hated her for having is the quality i love most about her today . Her straightforwardness .
Had i not met her i couldve turned into a jerk who gets whatever she wants from people whenever she wants how she wants it . But because she taught me you cant do that , I opened up my horizions and realized how i should be treating people with respect rather then opposition and arguement . By putting these kind of people in your life, youll realize a lot about what you want your own life to be by the company you be around, and the kind of way you wish to be treated by others and how youll treat others in reflection. so go befriend that kid you think is a little weird, i can gurantee youll find out that you have much more in common then you expected . THey can also provide new life opportuntites for you that you havent thought about , remember when she told you , your fingers were really fast and efficent and youd be good at piano ? well then , you took up piano years later and found out through her suggestion that you were talented and got in a career after years of practice . they open up doors of possiblities you never imagined .
6. Pen pals
Okay i know this is unheard of , but having penpal really cured my depression, someone whos never met you and talks about their life with you and you talk about yours is as soothing as peppermint tea to me . The factor that this could possibly be a no judge free zone and you could learn about someone new in the process. You get a new cultural perspective ,and ofc a friend in need. Time differences are a bit of an issue but there always someone who has something to say somewhere willing to help you.
As far as i have for now i hope you have a great day and everything goes well,
and remember that verily there is always something in store for you i promised,
the ink hasnt set yet love.
we are all still waiting for you to write what you have to offer to the world with who you are and what you aspire to be .
do not be ashamed that your facing a storm or youre depressed ,
every scar doesnt make you less beautiful,
it makes you wholesome.