Toxic Friendships and realizing the types .

Now not every toxic friendship is chracterised by nights in bed wanting to pick up youre phone and ask why they do what they do, or say you miss them. Sometimes they can be so bad that more then a heart gets broken, sometimes people lose their souls or spirits in the process. They know they dont want this but like alchoholics and a packs of cigarettes its hard to give up something youve grown accustomed to.

And its normal. Its normal that it wont be as easy to recoginize and its normal that you want to go back and retrieve something out of it, a better result, a change of heart, a good cause . But sometimes we need to recognize that we invest in empty trees that wont bear us any fruit, maybe that fruit tree was meant to blossom elsewhere , to flourish in another’s hands though you might think :” I did the same thing they did how come it didnt work for us ? ” well that maybe true we cant force people to realize our self worth  to them or our possible potential of how good we can be for them or help them.

So in order to recoginize the toxic types of friends here are the most uncommon types of friendships in the dark . ( I Suck at puns, bear with it . )

  1. Nosy Rosie

This name is a term i actually used to describe one of my cousins today teasingly. and she turned innocently to me to ask me what it meant i meant a nosy person who likes to know things . Little did i know, id be using this term to describe something else in my blog today .

Now a Nosy Rosie is someone who likes to find all the details about your life so she can find out where shes better  then you at this point in time  and used that to her advantage to make herself seem good or to make her self seem powerful in societies eyes .

Signs : 1.Your wedding, two kids , and your steady career dont matter compared to  Your gpa  dropped by 2 points and your at a 3.0 when you graduated  , well shes a U.N model and shes got a 4.0 , engaged, and is a young professional in her travel buisness expo .

2. And she loveess to play the humble brag game and if you play with her shell love it too  . So you can self depreciate yourself in her presence and she can make you feel better or she can tell you  yeah well youre not that great . She likes deciding how she sees you .

3.She will make everything seem like its not that big of a deal. ITS A BIG DEAL she says and everything about they way they carry themselves says it . watch out its a red flag . often these people have low self esteem so the only way to feel better is to be in a position of constant one up and know everything about everyone at all times.

3.Be careful because sometimes the everyones best friend type can be these people . I learned the hard way. You cant be everyones friend . and that makes it kind of fishy if everyone knows you and you know them , but you havent ever made a wave of some sorts . It could be youre really just a good person , or chances are also you havent figured out their true colors yet .

4 She doesnt care about your birthday  or promot, the only reason she posted is so people know shes friends with you because you work in that agency and that boosts her status .

2. Passive agressive Stevies

I apologize to anyone who actually is named stevie , i am not targeting you or who you are this is just a title to describe a person.So disclaimer and hopefully I havent offended anyone.This type of friend makes sarcastic comments , often because they are sour that you got that higher postion, or that you refuse to go with them to that resutrant because you had to babysit your little brother or sister and tells you your arent fun and will argue with you consistently so much that you cut them off .

Signs:

  1. They apologise but there real feelings reflect more on the surface as you spend time with them

2 They weasel back again after a fight  to ask if you if youre mad and youre left feeling confused because they are angry and want to know if you still feel the same .

3 .And continue to have dissmissive attitude or behaviour about something if the feeling is not mutual.

 

4. the opposite game is their speciality. you told them to write a resume for tommorrows class, they have done it and  forgot it at home, you think sometimes this is an innocent mistake but slowly but surely theyll start not doing the important things you need them to get done simply because they dont want to do it and feel like they shouldnt be doing it at all for you and youre not entitled if to it if they are upset with you and you didnt apologise for something they showed mix signal feelings about.

5. Shallow water nymphs

Getting good at these names arent i ?

isnt ironic that im talking about shallow people while saying something shallow ,

my point exactly. These are the type of friends who tell you that others are shallo w and talk like their expirenced when pardon me, they have not a clue what they are doing and   consider them selves understanding to others . theyll tell you that the world is a hard place and your left hitting your head against the wall when you ask them for  some advice to help,

theyll tell you need to cheer up and life isnt so bad and you should just ignore it .. but will be happy for you when you hit a hundred followers on instagram . Chances  people want to correct you when you say youre friends . they should just be aquaintances but they sneaked into your friend category because of a few nice things every now and then. signs of these friends are :

 

  1. You have conversations in the passing with them, ofc you can tell them that your coworkers are lazy , or that your boss is denying you the right pay for this month for working extra shifts, youll talk about beyonces new album , your new diet and how you should try a new trend of A line dresses for the kardashians.  but the second your failed relationship , or a death of a loved one kicks in , they run out of things to talk about and just drop off the radar . Some of these signs include excuses like “sorry was busy ” months later  or ” yeah …”when youve texted a long ranty essay about what happened to you in the last 2 years.
  2. and no other words offered, its just  wandering eyes during the conversation . They look a lot like they dont want to be here and are only here because you have their companship in their shallowness for a friday night social outing to bring entertainment to their so called bored lives. now dont mix this up with nosy rosie , they are here for pure entertainment to their idle lives eventful and lively ,  unlike the nosy rosie whom are using it to gain happiness and sucess by tearing down others.

3.They only listen to half your story before they delve into theirs. They arent really listening to help you with your problems , there listening to tell you how cute their new puppy is . Chances are they’ll jump over your words in  a second once your done talking as if you had told them something depressing and they coultdnt wait to talk because you bored them .

4. They ignore you when its convient. You have what they need , they befriend you you dont they dissappear this type is also know as the user friend.

 

So here are the times of friends and remember that you deserve better in your life and please learn that you are a bundle of joy that cant be contained , someone out there apperciates who you are and wont cause you this kind of drama in life , as always hopefully it was helpful,

until tomorrow ,

-Vega shimaya

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